Soooo you couldn't change some mattress setting on a cloud-controlled mattress. Not exactly "ruin sleep worldwide" and "go rogue". What trash journalism.
Also those images, wow, I really would have preferred no images over these soulless, generic AI-generated impressions.
Do all content-spam “journalists” use the same LLM prompt to dial up the faux drama?
> Picture this: You're tucked in, ready for a night of optimized REM cycles, when your app pings an error. No more tweaking the chill to a crisp 55°F or firing up the "cool mode" for those midnight hot flashes.
> The core temperature control? Utterly crippled without the cloud. Users reported the app freezing on loading screens, refusing to connect, and leaving them stranded in whatever thermal hell their last setting dictated.
Toothless rhetorical questions, false or confusing stakes, awkward attempts at flippant tone…
Why would they have set it to an hellacious temperature? Wtf mattress goes to 55 degrees? Why are these stakes existential? Sleep on the couch or the floor ffs…
> The hits kept coming. Smart sleep tracking? Dead in the water—no logging of phases, no biometric insights, just a void where your sleep score should be.
These stakes seem low. I guess it sells, but…
And then a roundup of internet comments like “unacceptable” with unfunny padding.
If this is what the future of “internet journalism” looks like, I’m optimistic that enough demand will remain for the real thing that they’ll find a way to fund some.
That's just the awful default voice of most LLMs if you ask it to write an article. I think it feels even more cringe because we can easily identify it now.
Also those images, wow, I really would have preferred no images over these soulless, generic AI-generated impressions.