You are right that we have a responsibility to be willing to risk another person’s feelings and our own social ostracism in order to speak the truth. I have failed in that responsibility before. I was motivated by seeking a guarantee that I would not harm the relationship. However, second-guessing people’s responses and speaking to protect other people’s egos led to the hell you describe.
Yet if I hear that someone “can’t take a joke”, I’d first wonder if they are jokes which demean the relationship between the listener and either the joker or the company.
I still think I have a responsibility to choose my words with care — care for the mutual trust and respect which constitute a healthy working relationship. The times when I failed to give someone clear constructive feedback, I failed to respect the other person’s emotional maturity. The times when I failed to speak an unpleasant truth directly, I failed to equip them with the knowledge to be trustworthy. The times when I failed to risk escalating a conflict, I failed to defend the constitution of the relationship.
Yet if I hear that someone “can’t take a joke”, I’d first wonder if they are jokes which demean the relationship between the listener and either the joker or the company.
I still think I have a responsibility to choose my words with care — care for the mutual trust and respect which constitute a healthy working relationship. The times when I failed to give someone clear constructive feedback, I failed to respect the other person’s emotional maturity. The times when I failed to speak an unpleasant truth directly, I failed to equip them with the knowledge to be trustworthy. The times when I failed to risk escalating a conflict, I failed to defend the constitution of the relationship.