I don't know that you should get relationship advice around computer gaming from some random dude from hackernews, but if you're willing to hear it anyway, I'd communicate your struggle with your spouse - it's very important she understands your struggles and concerns, and can help you. With that, maybe work on figuring out if you're using gaming as a way to relax or a way to escape. If it's escape, what are you escaping? Maybe that's the sort of self reflection you should do, and the sort of topics you want to talk to your wife about. Being a team is hard. I've been married 10 years, and we just had our first son this year, so I'm at least not talking out of my butt.