I forget what magazine carried this essay, and it was from maybe about 10 years ago, but a journalist decided to take up smoking (temporarily) at the age of 30-something or 40-something, with the idea of writing a story about it. One of his takeaways was the sociability of it, especially since everyone nowadays is forced to exit the office building to have a smoke.

I was a smoker for many years and the sociability is a huge factor that doesn't get much attention, and is the only thing I miss about it.

The relationships I established with fellow smokers, whether it was at work while stepping out from the office, standing outside a pub, stepping outside on a balcony at a party, etc. were almost always stronger than with my non-smoking friends. You immediately become part of a social circle with people you at least have one thing in common with, and are standing around with a limited number of minutes to chat about almost anything.

I haven't had a cigarette for nearly five years and the thought of lighting one up disgusts me, but I miss the carefree banter during smoke breaks with other smokers.

> I was a smoker for many years and the sociability is a huge factor that doesn't get much attention, and is the only thing I miss about it.

The best part about having to go outside for a smoke is you end up standing next to people outside of your normal work hierarchy. You get to have 1v1 conversations with OTHER managers, and people higher than you - whoever at a very casual level. The benefits of this is enourmous. I certainly talked more to our director of IT by smoking than I ever did with my own boss.

I remember this essay as well.

During a period of high stress due to major life changes I was experiencing, I took up smoking. It became a habit. I did experience the social aspect that the essayist described. I found that the best way to meet new friends at anime or gaming conventions is to find out where all the smokers are and hang out there. I've found a few new very good friends this way.

PS: I don't smoke cigarettes anymore.

I had a smoker friend in college and I'd join him outside. Pretty soon all my friends in the group were those social smokers.

Early in my tech career I realized pretty quickly that, despite not being a smoker, I needed go outside with the smokers during their smoke breaks because that's where a lot of ideas were discussed. It was where I could continue learning from guys who were almost all senior to me at the time in a more relaxed, informal setting.

The smoking was terrible--don't get me wrong--and I'm glad its much more rare now than it was 25 years ago.

Same here, but I took up smoking outside with them and it put me in the inside group on projects/tasks. I never picked up smoking outside of these little daily excursions and I realize it's playing with fire, but at least for my career it was one of the best things I could have done.

There was a whole Friends episode about this where Rachel starts smoking so she can be privy to the conversations out on the smoke deck at work.

I usually pride myself on my google-fu, but this one has eluded me. I also remember this essay.

Do you remember anything more about the essay that would help me find it? There is so much information and blogspam about their for the {nicotine, addiction, cigarettes, voluntary, chooses, sociability, constraints} results.

I also remember it - I’m pretty sure he was 42?

Some other things:

- might have been the Atlantic

- he talked about etiquette around things like flicking ash and smoking circles

- he talked about asking his doctor about starting smoking

It was definitely an interesting one

I also remember the article. I think he smoked in an airport and said nearby people overreacted (his words paraphrased) like a woman clutched her child. And maybe the airport security came too?

I really want to read it now. But can’t find it by Google.

I found it: https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/health/a4263/learning-to-s...

Search terms I used were: starting smoking at 40 cigarettes

It was the sixth google result for me.

Thank you! (I'm the OP of this thread.) I'm putting that on my re-read list.

Eh, whom am I kidding. I read it as soon as I clicked to see it.

I'd wager alcohol is healthier (within reason) since it promotes reducing your inhibitions which might open you up to learning since you are more open to new experience and ideas under that influence.

Social media, untamed and untempered, tends to influence in the other direction: piping you into a predefined ideological box—and largely dominated by materialistic influences to boot.

The health experts have deemed cigarettes and alcohol extra unhealthy for covid spread reasons now. Social wellbeing is just not something I would entrust to a sector not very well adjusted to work-life balance and desperate for middle-class admiration.

I also have to wonder if the scientific community even wants to know if cigarettes and alcohol correlate with less covid deaths given their great hex on it. It's interesting to think what level of gain/detriment will bring them to get a mention, let alone advise increased uptake. Imagine a world where they dish out wine & ciggs at the hospital as often as they do other drugs of dependence.

You can drink a lot when alone.

^ This.

In a cursory survey [1] of the alcoholics I've known (both recovering/acknowledged and not), for 80% social drinking hasn't been the problem. The problem was what they did when they were alone with a bottle.

[1] Not an SRS, clearly anecdotal and entirely in my head, so all caveats apply, etc.

I bought a time lock safe that only opens Friday and Saturday from 6am to 10am. "Pre-comitting" to not drinking was very helpful for me.

Used to do the same thing with gaming. Encrypted windows and whensend.com the key to me in the future. Can't game on the linux drive.

I like the comparison, granted it must be different for different people (ie, individual relationships to tobacco/alcohol). Social media repulses me, but with the other two I enjoy but am suspicious of.

I’d rather have someone tell me about the last cigarette they had than the last social media post they wrote.

Also, tobacco and alcohol have pretty much the same chemical and social impacts throughout (although there are changes in intensity, for example, ABV in beers have been increasing).

Social media changes its addictive by tailoring it over time for every individual user.

Its like comparing mental health and lung cancer.

No, you're spot on. That's been my conclusion of the past few years, that Facebook, Twitter et al. are the tobacco companies of our time. They act very much the same as the tobacco companies did: misleading their 'customers', and corrupting the politicians who would otherwise regulate them.